Imposter Syndrome
Sunrise Barcelo Lanzarote
Going to Lanzarote for Ironman training is always mixed emotions. I'm usually out there by myself, as nobody seems to have the time, money or the inclination to join me for two weeks training on the volcanic island so early in the year.
I entered two Ironman 70.3 races in 2025. The first being a new one in France, down in the Loire valley in Tours Metropole. This has a river swim and both a flat bike and running course, so I figured this would suit me well.
However, I learned from catching Covid in the days before Ironman Venice that all my training would come to nothing if I didn't have a backup plan. So, on a whim and given that it matched my work rota, I booked Weymouth 70.3 as well.
This one however worried me because the bike course was ‘rolling’ and even though my weight was coming down, it wasn't coming down fast enough to make me competitive on hills on the bike.
In fact, I was seriously concerned that I might not finish and miss all the cut offs. Added to the fact that my swim was desperate after my rotator cuff injury in December, I wasn't leaving myself much room for manoeuvre.
So, off I went to Lanzarote to really kick start my training for the year.
My coach, Russell Carter, sets me a loose training plan depending on the weather and how I'm feeling and availability of the pool etc.
I generally choose to stay at the Barcelo hotel, as it has a 50-metre outdoor pool, it is all inclusive, so I don't have to think about where the next meal is coming from and it has easy access onto the best bike routes on Lanzarote. It is also close enough to the sea for decent sea swim.
La Santa, on the northern part of the island, is the classic training ground for the professionals. An increasing number of athletes now use the Barcelo. It's cheaper and less restrictive over which activities you can choose you don't have to subscribe to any kind of system.
Even so, a 10-day trip at the Barcelo is not cheap, so I have to make the best of every moment there.
The first job is to pick up the hire car, shoehorn my bike bag into the boot and get to the hotel to get the bike built. This usually involves a bit of faff as my hydraulic brake system often has bubbles in it following the flight.
I always get a bit of impostor syndrome when I wheel out my bike for the first time out the front of the hotel, which is riddled with triathletes who are all faster and thinner than I am.
The first time I went to Lanzarote was when I was brand new to using clipless pedals and I sat outside the front of the foyer pretending to be on my phone, until everybody who looked remotely like a cyclist had disappeared. There was no way I was going to have a clip-in fail in front of the semi-professional triathletes!
Several years on, I still get a notion of anxiety and wonder if I deserve to be there or if I fit in with these people. The good news is, I'm not on holiday with these people. Besides, since I had now completed an Ironman 70.3, I had earned my place there. After all I have a coach and everything!
The best way to shake off imposter syndrome I have found is to ‘just do you’. These other people do not matter, they don’t know me and the only person of concern is my coach – and me I guess. It’s hard and takes some practise, but life feels much calmer when you stop comparing. If you want to feel shit about yourself, at least wait until race day results before you do!
I usually have a shortish shakedown ride to test out the bike, tri bars and to get used to riding again in the wind and the heat.
Next, I ventured to the 50-metre pool. It was extremely busy and really intimidating, not least because my left arm wasn't really working. I could just about manage to get to the end of the 50 metres doing a very slow and deliberate crawl. But I knew whatever my injury was, this was too soon. I couldn't even hold a basic yoga move or keep my left arm out to my side by itself. Warrior II pose was more of a dying swan.
Swimming would just have to wait. I concentrated on my cycling and running, all the while trying to ignore my shoulder.
14km run
One thing on my list that I'd yet to try was the classic climb up Tabayesco. I've reached the observatory from the other side of the island but never the classic climb from the East Coast. It was fairly shallow but prolonged and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
As I neared the top with the cafe almost in sight, I caught up with the lady who had been dropped by her cycling group and was now walking the final section, pushing her bike, in tears.
I knew exactly how she felt and I reduced my cadence, trying really hard not to catch up with her and pass her, as I know from experience that this would have completely destroyed her.
She reached the top, where a member of her group was waiting for her. She looked absolutely finished so I pulled up behind her and gave her a big hug and a ‘well done ma’am’.
She burst into tears again, trembling with exhaustion. It looked to me that she was on the same journey that I had been on, and I was only too happy to pay forward some kindness.
The section of coastal road, just southeast of Órzola, is one of My most favourite parts of Lanzarote. To one side you have the azure ocean, only separated from the road by the crumbles of lava. On the other side, a huge lava field truncated by the odd volcano. The road passes by Jameos del Agua, which I visited on this occasion. I was spoiled with a fantastic five course meal and ended up having to get a taxi home because the waiters seemed to have a never-ending supply of wine.
The evening was finished off with some traditional life Spanish music in the acoustics of the huge lava tube chamber.
Despite my malfunctioning shoulder, I hit an awful lot of personal records on the bike and even managed my fastest 10 kilometre run to date. But swimming was still painfully slow and it was still a mystery as to what I had actually done.
